Rebuilding

It has been a very long couple of days.

It’s amazing how quickly you forget how this song and dance goes. The past five years of my life (okay, maybe most of my life) has been riddled with loss, and every time, I am shocked at how breathless it leaves me. You’d think that it would get easier with the amount of practice I have.

It doesn’t.

I spent so much time worrying about the actual deed, that I didn’t even spare a thought towards what life would be like once I didn’t have Image’s shoulder to lean against. I feel a bit like I’ve lost my way. My life had so much purpose and direction when I had Image to focus on. Now? Well, now it’s just me…and, like most people, I try very hard not to be the main focus of my thoughts.

Anyway, that’s not the point of this post. The point is to extend a huge and grateful “thank you” to everyone who has reached out in the past few days. I have received numerous Facebook comments, private messages, and wall posts expressing sympathy and kind words. Add in the texts, calls, emails and blog comments, and I was a little bit overwhelmed. I hadn’t realized how far Image’s story had reached. I’ve had messages from strangers, who fell in love with him as much as I had, saying just how heartbroken they were to find out what happened.

I am so grateful to have so many amazing people in my life. I can’t even put into words how incredible it is to know that there are so many hands for me to hold, all over the world. The support grounded me enough to be able to see a little light through the fog. I could not be more thankful for your support, kindness, and sympathy. It will be something I look back on when things look a lot bleaker than they really are.

I’m not a hundred percent sure what’s next. I know that I will continue writing, though the blog name may end up changing sooner rather than later. I’m not sure when the next horse will come along. I can’t imagine that another situation like Image’s falling into my lap again, so I am beginning to gather my pennies up. In the meantime, I’m not sure what I’m going to do to fill my time.

Time to try and rebuild from what’s left.

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