And just like that, I am horseless again.
|Couple of last shots in the paddock|
Simba went off to a new, easy-going life in Vermont Sunday morning. He’ll be doing gentle trail riding and living the good life with pasture and a new pasture buddy. He stepped up into a strange trailer like he owned it and off he went. It was quiet and without fanfare, and I sent him off feeling confident he’ll be a happier critter for all of it.
I am…I don’t know what I am right now. I’m ecstatic he has a good home. He deserves it, because he really is a lovely horse. I was not sad to see him go, as he’ll be happy, so there was nothing to be sad about there. I was sad, however, to realize that I will no longer have a horse. Simba stressed me out and drove me nuts and made me want to knock him upside a head with a two by four sometimes, but he gave me something to focus on and something to fill my time with. That will take some getting used to.
I don’t know, exactly, what’s next for me at this point. I know that no matter what, I’m taking some time “off”. It will be at least until the summer, if not until next fall, before I even think about looking again (unless something I can’t resist falls into my lap, but even then, it’ll have to be something spectacular). I have learned my lesson the hard way. I don’t intend to repeat any mistakes, ESPECIALLY because the selling of horses is miserable and I do not ever want to do it again.
|Dork pony…and yes, that black blur is yet another photobomb by Dolly the Border Collie.|
It’s been a long year, and I am welcoming the break. I am going to miss having something to occupy my time. I’m going to miss stalls every weekend. I’m going to miss riding the trails, seeing my aunt and uncle all the time, riding with friends whenever I wanted…but, at the end of the day, I am relieved. I am relieved he has a better home, with someone more suited to him all around, and who seems to click much better with him than I ever did. She got on him and he relaxed in a way I hadn’t ever seen him relax immediately with me. I am also relieved that I no longer feel pressure (from myself!) to ride and work with a horse that I didn’t enjoy. That was extremely hard, and it put me in a mental space that wasn’t good for anyone. We had good rides (hell, we had great rides!) but it wasn’t ever the same.
I will still be riding, I’m sure. People are already throwing horses at me to ride, left and right. Hell, right after seeing Simba off and doing stalls for the last time, I went up to NH to ride with J on one of her Paso Finos. I got to ride the funniest, weirdest critter on the face of the planet named Benicio. I didn’t stop laughing the entire ride, because he was full of ants in his pants but was a gentleman the entire time. We had some rousing gallops and I was reminded as to why, exactly, I LOVE that breed so very much. He had the most deliciously perfect corto (for me, anyway), with a longer stride than most, a lovely canter, and a hell bent for leather kinda gallop that leaves you squealing with delight.
In short, it was a reminder as to why I do this. My only motivation in life for as long as I can remember has been horses. For a long, long time, it was just to own one (ANY horse at all, I didn’t care about the specifics). I’m a hell of a lot more picky now, but the dream is still there. I’ll figure it out.