Everything Changes

I’m adjusting to being a horsey parent again.

Part of that adjustment? GETTING TO BUY ALL THE TREATS.

Spoiled pony is spoiled because mama works for Dover Saddlery.

I’m hopeless.

It also means I get to smoosh this face whenever* I want.

That faaaaace!

(*only on weekends because fuck living an hour and a half away from your horse…)



I adore this little horse. He is funny and sweet with just the right amount of attitude and I am TERRIFIED of fucking this one up. He is solid and fun but he needs just a bit of work and it’s all stuff I’m not so good at. So, I’m doing my usual “well, we’ll wing it and see what happens” for awhile…which really means I’m going to obsessively read everything I can about how to work on his particular issues.

And I’m going to try to not drive myself into an anxiety driven panic because WHAT IF I CAN’T DO IT GUYS.


Anyway. Here begins a whole new chapter for both myself and this little grey horse. Poor thing ain’t gonna know what hit him when the changes start coming rapid fire!

We started this past weekend. I had Friday off this week because I turned 25 on Monday. Dover is very nice and gives us all a day off each year for our birthday, and I was equally as nice and didn’t actually take Monday the 2nd off. I just started a new position in the company and it is Mach ten, all the time, and I felt bad making someone else do my job on Monday, when EVERYTHING is Mach ten, because Monday. So, I took Friday…and oh, what a glorious Friday it was! We had a lovely, lovely stretch of Indian Summer here in Massachusetts and it was in the mid-seventies. I woke up just an hour or two later than usual, puttered for a bit at home, and headed north to go ride.

One of Sirius’ issues is that he’s not overly fond of being caught. Once he is caught, he’s in your pocket for cookies and snuggles. Convincing him he does want to be caught, however, can take a few minutes. Thankfully, he’s discovered very quickly that I’m a stubborn asshole and don’t give in…so one or two times of “oh, you’re going to move away from me? Here’s a leadrope at your ass, please move faster”, he gives in and faces me. I do sweeten the deal with a cookie when I catch him, because I’m not adverse to bribing. He let me catch him relatively easily all weekend, which was an improvement over the first few times I went into his paddock, so I’ll take it!

Once I had him caught on Friday, I gave him a once over with a curry (“yes moar please”), the hard brush (no response other than an ear flick) and hit a few spots with Shapley’s Easy Out (“OH SWEET JESUS WHAT IS THAT SPRAY THINGEE OF DOom oh wait nevermind I’m over it”). Sigh. I own a grey.

I threw my saddle on and grabbed my training stick to go press some buttons in the ring before getting on. One of Sirius’ other “things” is mounting. Some point along the way, he became tense and nervous about the mounting block. 90%, in my opinion, is knowing that it’s time to go out and play, and we’ve all just been “meh” about correcting horses about anything this summer because WE just wanted to play too! I had a sneaking suspicion that if I worked him on the ground before asking him to stand still for me to get on, we’d have a much different response.

He was a bit of a kite on Friday, but I expected that completely: I am a new human asking things in weird ways and it was his Monday morning. He did, however, pick up on me asking him to change direction at the end of the rope VERY quickly. His “stop” response, however, needs loads of work, both on the ground and under saddle. I didn’t do much drilling of anything because we’re still getting a feel of each other and I really was simply testing him to see where he was at. What I really loved was that after a few minutes of “lsajhdflkjahsdfas WHAT”, I had an ear locked on me. The whole time. No matter where I was or what I asked, I had an ear. He had a mild meltdown over being asked to go to the left at one point (going to the left is definitely his Kryptonite), but I still had an ear. Simba spent the first couple of weeks trying to escape my presence when I asked him to do things that it took forever to really get his attention, so I was impressed and pleased to have him try and pay attention so quickly.

God this makes him look so narrow…he’s not *that* narrow, I swear!

We worked for maybe 20 minutes before I switched him over to his bridle and lined him up with the mounting block. He was a bit tense, but didn’t move as I swung a leg over. I settled in the saddle and he walked off, but we’ll get there — just standing for me to get on got him boatloads of praise. I’ll take it for now! I’ll definitely be starting each ride with groundwork, like I did with Simba, from here on out. I did it both Saturday and Sunday and it definitely helped.

We toodled in the ring for another ten minutes while I tested his attention with circles and bending. He needs to soften up, especially to the left. He has a tendency to really lean on your hands if given the option, and when he gets strong, he can really get to pulling. Needless to say, I’ve had to remind myself heavily that getting into a pulling match with a horse will not work for me in the long run. Translating this to the trails means we’ve done a lot of half halts and a lot of circles when Little Grey decides he’d like to continue being allowed to bomb around like a heathen (which I absolutely contributed to right up until he was mine…because, let’s face it, it’s fun!).

I then opened the gate — from his back, which I can do, because he’s fourteen-freaking-one hands tall — and out we went. He was much happier the second he realized we were trail bound. He really hates the ring. He’ll do it, but he doesn’t have the same joie de vivre he does when we’re out and about.

Exploring the trails. He’s super sure footed and I LOVE IT.

We had a really fabulous ride. I had a forward but attentive horse, one who quietly and promptly came back to me when I asked him after a run, who listened to my leg and seat, who walked on a loose rein, who did some excellent corto-canter-corto transitions. We went exploring on a trail I had never been on and found a super gorgeous pond. We came across B’s husband in the center of town (where I promptly got him mixed up with someone else and called him the wrong name…felt like a douuuuche!) and stopped to chat, and he stood like a gentleman. We both had a blast and when we came back, I sat in the field with him on the end of a lead line with his cooler on to let him graze. It was lovely and I actually cried a little.

Also Sara Bareilles dropped a new album so I cried a lot over that. But I digress.

Anyway! In stark contrast to Friday, I had an obnoxious beast on Saturday!

Groups — especially this group, because he knows them well and is super competitive with one of the mares — make him lose. his. mind. And then I went ahead and really frustrated him this week because instead of allowing him to run around like he’s used to, I firmly told him to mind his damn manners. We had temper tantrums galore! Fortunately, his temper tantrums are mildly pathetic — a tiny half rear, and once I put his nose to my boot and force him in a few tight circles, and he doesn’t attempt it again until the next time I make him mad. He is 9, and while he’s a pretty happy-go-lucky little horse, this “self control” thing is all new to him so I completely do not blame him for not understanding why he’s only now being asked to contain himself a little. He was definitely “getting” it by Sunday, but

Another issue we have been running into is bit rubs. I think we have it fixed now, but it was definitely contributing to his unhappiness on Saturday. My Mylers are just a touch too big for him, and he was getting rubs at the corners of his mouth. I may sell one or two to fund a smaller size, because outside of that, he works well in my them and I much prefer them to any other bits on the market right now.

I got off Saturday ready to break down the ride and figure out where things went “wrong”. He was never terrible but we had many discussions and not all of them were successful. By the end of the ride, we were both tired. Admittedly, I tried to pick too many battles to fight. I really should have made the decision (not let him, but made it my choice) to let him have a nice run, after he gave me a few strides of quiet and soft. I think we both would have been happier and a lot more would have been accomplished.


Sunday, I did just that and we had a much, much better ride. Working with him is going to take some re-wiring of my brain. Simba was very much a “I tell you to do this thing and this thing only” kind of horse, and he did well with that structure. Sirius takes more finessing. Simba required bullying from time to time, which I really didn’t like, but it was occasionally the only way to get through to him. Sirius does not — he requires firmness, perhaps, but never downright pushing around. I also made a change into a Paso Fino bit J had lying around. It’s thicker and smaller, and fit him much better, and he was a MUCH happier horse all around. I’m going to attempt to find one similar. I also didn’t put him at the back of the pack. He’ll learn, eventually, how to ride anywhere in the group, but he’s happiest up in front and I was able to get much more accomplished with a happier horse. We zoomed around a bit, mostly because Gema led the pack at a fast clip and we all had to freaking CANTER to keep up with this mare’s largo (she is a machine!). I also, stupidly, MTG’d his sad, sad little mane on Saturday. Ever tried to ride with rubber reins after putting MTG on a horse’s mane? Note to self: remember riding gloves next week…

Much quieter on Sunday. Three days in a row of work probably helped too!

I was dog tired by the time I slid off of him on Sunday, and zombied my way though cooling him out and putting him back in the paddock. I had ordered a cooler for him from work that I got to put on him on Sunday, and holy crap does he look cute all bundled up to his ears, peering at me hopefully for more snacks. Yes, he got snacks. Many snacks. Especially because he nickers for cookies and I’m a SUCKER.


I barely made it home on Sunday before crawling into bed and passing out. I love, love, LOVE J and her crew and riding with them, and I’m going to miss them all very much when I move Sirius next month, but godDAMN I am not going to miss that drive. I know that I can stay with D, who is only a half hour away from J’s or with J herself, but I am very, very protective of my alone time and really prefer it to be in my own bed when I can (especially because starting this weekend, I’m house sitting until January, essentially).

Today on my drive home I finally had minimal brain cells to devote to assessing our weekend. He was stellar on Friday, a fruitcake on Saturday, and right smack in the middle on Sunday, leaning towards stellar again. I’m pretty confident this horse, with consistent work, will be a rock star. What’s more, I actually enjoy working with him. He’s not a douchebag. He can be a bit of a snot, but he’s not an all around jerk…and 90% of the time he’s super happy about everything.

So, one week into horse ownership again, and despite my own anxiety driven ridiculousness, I’m happy to be back. My life has changed dramatically in the past two months, and I don’t hate any of it. Sirius’ life is about to change dramatically as well…and, hopefully, he won’t hate it too much either!

5 thoughts on “Everything Changes

  1. Myra Schwarz November 10, 2015 / 1:21 am

    Third time is a charm. He sounds like PERFECT!!!! Verry very happy for you, and I do wish we were closer to ride together, your 14 + cutie and my 16-3 tank!!


  2. Karen Burch November 10, 2015 / 2:54 pm

    A suggestion based on my experience with my grey horse . . . give him a verbal cue when going to mount. I use “stand”. I also use it on trail when I want him to hold still. That way he begins to associate keeping his feet still with the word. The other thing you might do is try dismounting and mounting again on trail. I always find a rock or tree stump to mount from, always use the “stand” cue and then swing on. I also rock the saddle and start to put weight in the stirrup and then ask Ashke if he is ready before getting on. That way if he is not paying attention, he can resettle himself so he doesn't have to take a step to balance us. If he really is walking off because he is impatient, these things will help naturally teach him to stand still. If he is walking off because it is a mounting block that is triggering the behavior, dismounting and remounting on trail will help reinforce the idea of “stand”.

    Four years with my boy and we are still learning to ride in the middle or end of the pack. I have a great riding partner who is willing to go in front and just as willing to let us back in front when I tell her I have had enough of fighting with him to keep him second. It is getting better, but it is something we work on every.single.trail.ride.

    Little Grey is adorbs! Congrats on your boy.


    • Amanda November 11, 2015 / 2:05 am

      That’s essentially what I’ve been doing re: the mounting block — thank you for confirming I’m doing the right thing, haha! “Stand” is slowly becoming part of his “vocabulary”! He’s fine after that initial mount — I’ve dismounted and remounted multiple times on the trail and he stands like a stone. He’s so jazzed at the beginning of a ride that standing still is VERY VERY HARD. Thankfully, the addition of ground work before asking him to even think about standing really helps!


  3. Aoife November 10, 2015 / 9:13 pm

    It all sounds like so much fun & it is so awesome the access to all the cool things your job provides. Sirius is going to be be an awesomely decked out little grey ♡


  4. nightfell November 11, 2015 / 4:48 pm

    I’m sure you’ll have zero problems getting back into the swing of horseownership (; Sirius sounds like a smart one and will catch on quick to whatever you toss his way!

    (This is Grace C from HorsebackArtist btw!)


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